Awkward and Amazing
Awkward is accidentally riding the bus with your ex boyfriend. You just broke up a few months ago. Your heart races with excitement and anxiety about whether you look as good as you imagined you would at this inevitable moment. All you want to do is wrap your arms around him, go home to make dinner, and play video games. Awkward is having the, “How was your day” “eh, it was okay” conversation with someone you loved for 2 years. Knowing that he just wants to escape and you want to go break stuff.
Awkward is wanting to go on a date with a man you think you could really like, and instead of asking, you end up having the same, “how was your day?” conversation. Being careful to not show a single piece of yourself. The last thing you want is to like someone. But having a crush is a little happy spot you can tap into when you’re just walking around.
Amazing is knowing that when you’re at your lowest, there are people who can feel that you’ve tipped your toe in that downward spiral. For no reason they send you a text message telling you that you’re beautiful, right when you’re about to binge drink and stay in bed all day. It’s strange because these are the people that make you remember that you don’t need people. They somehow make it fantastic to be alone.
The most amazing, is hanging out with a 4-year-old in a park all day. A found golf ball is suddenly a baby bird, and to teach it how to fly you throw it off the tallest hill. It’s being handed a dandelion and hugged with the force of an uninhibited love. Getting covered in grass stains and smelling like sunshine.
This is pure happiness.
Professional Driver, Closed Course 